


a foot tall, easily shattered, and utterly captivating

by htruona (circhester)



Series: Apparently Humorous LU One-Shots [2]
Category: Linked Universe - Fandom, The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Crack, Gen, Linked Universe (Legend of Zelda), i think the pot deserves its own character tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:20:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21615202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/circhester/pseuds/htruona
Summary: The Links discover something beautiful, and are all equal parts transfixed and desperate to take it—or, more accurately,destroy itthemselves.Hyrule is just confused.
Series: Apparently Humorous LU One-Shots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1676488
Comments: 43
Kudos: 362





	a foot tall, easily shattered, and utterly captivating

**Author's Note:**

> i am BACK with yet more crack. honestly who decided it was a good idea to let me write freely?
> 
> [tumblr](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLzxrzFCyOs)!!

Hyrule was lost. Honestly, he wasn’t even surprised anymore—this happened at least every other day. 

Being lost did, however, mean that he had no idea where he was. The author had no idea where she thought she was going with that sentence; all she did was state the word ‘lost’ and give its definition. Oh God—Jesus—um, er, Hylia? Fifty words in and the author had already managed to break the fourth-wall. That had to be a new record for her.

Moving swiftly back onto the actual, erm, ‘plot’, Hyrule had, as already established now three times, lost track of the rest of the group. He had taken _one little tiny detour_ to inspect some interesting berries (they were in Wild’s Hyrule, and in his defence, there were distractions everywhere!) and now he had—and the author couldn't believe she was saying this for a fourth time—no idea where anybody else was.

Usually the moment they realised he had ran off someone was sent after him. Maybe they refrained because the only person who knew the land was Wild, and Wild was the last person to be trusted in undistracting him? Who knew. Hyrule really wanted to know.

He stomped through the woods, listening for the sounds of, well, any form of civilisation so that he could follow it and hopefully end up at said civilisation. Not that he let himself get his hopes up, no, of course not—the last thing Hyrule ever wanted to do was trust his sense of direction. He could walk to the west and end up at the ocean, which was… where was the ocean again? Did his Hyrule _have_ an ocean? 

Lost in his thoughts, Hyrule didn’t realise he walked directly past a stable—the same stable that the rest of the Links has just entered. The same stable that contained the actual ‘plot’ of this story. 

_Fuck_. The author messed up. No, no, she could salvage this.

Slow music, calming and drifting and melancholic, floated through the air. This, by either the blessing of Hylia or the careful seizing of control back into the author’s hands, managed to break Hyrule away from his thoughts and into the present.

He turned to the source of the music. Luckily, his sense of direction didn’t fail him even that. Standing at the front of the stable— _when_ had he arrived at a stable?—was a large… bird? Wait, that must be a Rito! Holding an accordion. 

Hyrule walked over to the Rito, ready to ask where he was, before—

—Every single Link rushed out of the stable. All of them, at once. Pushing and shoving and bolting as fast as they could—did the author have to explain any further?

Hyrule barely managed to dash out of the way before they trampled over where he had been not two seconds ago.

“It’s mine!” could be heard from the group.

A slap sounded. “No, _I’m_ doing it!”

“It is my right as a Link to—”

The shouts drowned each other out. Hyrule, without a single doubt, could say that he had no idea what was going on. In light of this new lack of information he decided to do the only thing he could: investigate.

He followed them. Unfortunately, he had to run because the group was—as prior established—sprinting, but fortunately, they only seemed to be travelling to the back of the stable.

“Give me it!”

“Get your fucking hands away, it’s mine!”

The group seemed to be crowded around something behind the stable. What in all of Hyrule were they fighting over? Hyrule, almost comically, scratched his head as the Links tore each other apart verbally in the distance. He was so confused.

He approached them. 

“Are you guys alright?” Hyrule asked, though distracted by whatever was in front of them and their internal arguments, the group did not answer.

Now that he was closer, Hyrule could see the group more clearly—and wow, the author just explained basic sight! Weren’t the lovely readers in for quite the educational experience today?

Wild gazed at the Thing with a hungry, dazed expression. Twilight was frantically holding him back, looking to be equally desperate for the thing. Time and Sky were actually sparring, anger dancing in their eyes. Four looked conflicted; Wind was swearing violently; and Legend and Warriors were arguing; but all three of those things were normal, so Hyrule didn’t question them.

But Hyrule still really wanted to know what was going on. So he did the most sensible thing one would do to a group of raging, animalistic Links and… approached them calmly without any sense of self-preservation—alright, in his defence, _he_ had never claimed to be doing the ‘sensible’ thing. The _author_ had done that.

“What’s going on?” Hyrule asked.

He barged his way through the crowd of Links, deciding that the end with Wild and Twilight was the easiest to get through, and saw…

…A pot? 

Yeah, no, that was definitely a pot. A sweet, innocent ceramic pot, a foot tall with a brown colour and simple white patterns adorning it. Absolutely a pot.

And, for whatever reason, every other Link seemed ready to commit _murder_ over this pot. 

“What the heck,” Hyrule whispered. “What’s so special about this pot?”

Eight pairs of eyes shifted from their respective arguments/spars/moments of deep internal conflict to stare at him. Hyrule flinched. 

“It’s…” Twilight started.

Legend gestured to it. “It’s a _pot_.”

Hyrule frowned. “…Yeah? So?”

“Pots are the symbol of Links everywhere! “ Warriors proclaimed.

Wild nodded. “Whether skyward bound, adrift in time, or steeped in the glowing embers of twilight, every Link throughout history has a special connection to pots.”

Hyrule stared at them incredulously. What were they actually talking about—a _special connection_ to pots? Pots being a _symbol_ of Links? This was news to him.

Time sighed, placed a hand in Hyrule’s shoulder, and guided him to the pot. “Pick it up, and you’ll understand.”

“Um—”

“Time, what the _fuck_ are you doing?” Wind hissed.

Hyrule looked to Time hesitantly. Time urged him forward. Hyrule looked to Legend, and after a moment of great indecision in his mind, he gave his approval also.

Hyrule picked up the pot and held it at arm’s length. “Okay, so what do I—”

“No, no no, this is all wrong,” Legend muttered. “You’ve gotta hold it up.”

Hyrule lifted the pot a little higher. “Like… this?”

Legend wrinkled his nose in disgust. “Have you never done this in your life? Above your head.”

 _What?_ Hyrule held it above his head, greatly aware of the increasing ridiculousness of his situation right now—couldn’t he just get lost in the forest again?—and looked to Legend.

Legend nodded. “Now smash it.”

Cheers erupted. “Smash it!”

As Hyrule had no idea who was cheering, he looked around—Wind was cheering, somehow swearing too, Wild was cheering. Hyrule looked to the sensible members of the group. Sky was cheering even louder than Wind and Wild; Twilight had an animalistic grin on his face, looking almost feral; Four had shed all composure he held and egged him on excitedly.

Hyrule looked to Time, knowing that at least he would have some sense in this situation—

—Nope. Apparently not. Time looked child-like as he grinned, shaking in excitement.

“Smash it! Smash it! Smash it! Smash it!” Wild chanted.

Hyrule sent one last look to them, confused and incredulous and completely desperate for answers, before throwing the pot against the wall. It cracked into a million shards, leaving the Links to fish desperately for the rupees that were revealed with it.

“Did you feel that?” Legend asked excitedly. Hyrule wondered where the normal, sarcastic Legend had gone and how this had replaced him. “The _rush_?”

Hyrule blinked. “What rush?”

Eight pairs of eyes—oh shit, the author just remembered that Time had one eye, uh, actually _seven pairs of eyes plus one extra_ —stared at him. They dug holes deep into his soul, burning holes into the deepest aspects of his sense of self; invading into who he was, who he hoped to be and everything he had the chance to become. 

Hyrule shrunk into himself. “Why are you all looking at me like that?” he squeaked.

“What do mean, _‘what rush_ ’?” Four asked. “The rush of adrenaline you gain, the blood pumping through your veins from smashing a pot—it’s the one thing that unites us Links.”

Twilight eyed him, the feral expression not fully gone. “You felt nothing?”

Hyrule nodded.

“Oh Hylia,” Sky whispered. “That’s just…”

“It’s unthinkable,” Time finished.

Warriors shuddered. “The very idea that one of us, a _Link_ , knew not of the joys associated with reducing a ceramic pot into nothing but shards…”

Time shook his head rapidly, blinking in succession to clear away something from his line of sight. As if by magic he snapped back into being his regular self. “Ah well. Shall we be on our way?”

The other seven members of the group, like jigsaw pieces clicking into place, returned to their regular personalities. 

“Let’s go!” Wind cheered. The group set off—Hyrule, having even less of an idea of what had just happened, could do nothing but stare as they walked off.

(He ran after them two moments later, not wanting to get lost again, but that was another story.)

**Author's Note:**

> hyrule just wants to know what kind of cult the links formed during the half hour he was lost
> 
> not (really) shown: red, green, blue and vio fighting for control of the body to break the pot


End file.
